My 6 Weird Things

Okay Amanda, I read your lists and thought they were cute. Here's my weird list.

1. I like to put peanutbutter crackers in my chicken noodle soup.
2. I love the smell of new tires.
3. If you scrape your knife & fork together at dinner, I will kick you out of my house.
4. The sound of someone "hawking-up" phlem will make me vomit.
5. I like snakes and lizards but will climb up a wall to escape a cockroach.
6. I can't stand the feeling of yarn, that's why I never learned to knit.

Mini Trucks & Lawn Mowers

My family and I watched Monster Garage last night. This episode featured a team of 6 "Little People" converting a 4-wheel drive truck into a lowered mini truck.

This is not my topic, it's just some background, bear with me.

As part of the extraneous information they give you during the show, there was a short blurb about Nissan being the first car manufacturer to market mini-trucks and the the first model was a Datsun with 34 HorsePower.

Now, just so you know, my oldest son is a car fanatic! He's 13 and if he doesn't end up working in a field that includes cars or computers or both, I'll be mightily surprised.

He asks, "How fast could that Datsun go with only 34Hp?"

I make some snide comment about Hamsters, Rubberbands, and high pitched Mosquito-like whining. Ha Ha!

My husband says, "Not very fast, I'll bet our lawn mower in the garage has 34Hp."

To which Chris very seriously turns to his father and states, "Ah Dad, that's not right. The lawn mower has a 6.5Hp Briggs and Straton engine. Its not the same."

At this time, I almost fall off the couch laughing! Oh the wisdom of the young!

Funny thing is, he's right. And if you ask him to quote you the specs on a Ferrari 550 Maranello, he'll be happy to enlighten you there also.

By the way, I just asked, they are as follows:

Top Speed - 200+mph
Engine - Front V-12
0-60 = 4 secs
Manufacture in 1997
50th Anniversary for Ferrari

He goes on and on but that's enough for now!

Married to the Mob

Okay, my Hubby's not in the Mob but he is 50% Italian.

This means his answer to any situation is to drink some wine and eat some pasta.

Go Figure!

Being Irish...Sort of

I'm part Irish.

I don't have red hair or the famous ruddy Irish complexion, but I am part Irish.

I definitely have the short Irish temper, but it's modified by a greater volume of German blood.

This means that I can get mad pretty quickly and then I'm very efficient at getting even!

Oh Yeah, and I have a genetic predisposition to like beer no matter how you look at it.

What's that smell?

As you know I have 2 new cats. One is 2-years-old and has been front declawed and neutered (thank God!). The other is younger and is in possession of all his body parts, well, up until this morning he was.

Do you have any idea of the potentcy of adult male cat urine? It must rank right up there with skunk spray on the stink scale! I've been told that there are actually people who cannot detect the odor. I am not one of these genetically blessed humans!

Despite my best efforts to keep Hobbes out of certain areas of the house until he was neutered, he got into not 1 but 2 different walk-in closets in my house and left his mark! My morning has consisted of trying to pinpoint the offending area and clean it. What has me baffled is for an odor that is so noxious, it's extremely hard to pinpoint unless you actually find a puddle. I have now emptied half the contents from both closets, wiped the baseboards and trim, shampooed the carpet, and I'm still not sure if I've removed the odor. Not to mention I now have at least 25 loads of laundry consisting of clothing that has a faint aroma.

Is there an electronic device which could chemically detect the source of the odor? I know that there are sprays which contain enzymes that "eat" the urine, but I have to know where to spray!

I think I'm going to take a break and go run 2 miles to clear my nostrils. Right now everything smells like cat pee!

Fate, Karma, or Divine Providence, part II

And on a lighter note...

Anyone who reads my Blog knows that my cherished cat Sam passed away last week, and you know the story of how he came to be a part of my family.

My husband read that very first Blog and stated that I should not try to get another cat until I had one of my "feelings". We had pretty much decided we would not even entertain the notion until after a trip we have planned later this spring. Ironically, we had already decided to get not 1 but 2 cats and that we would name them Calvin and Hobbes.

Soooo.....

I'm talking on the phone with a friend and I hear her cats meowing at her as she enters her apartment. I say to her, "Oh, I hear your kitties!"
She affirms this and proceeds to tell me how she is going to have to get rid of the male, Rocky, because he has become so aggressive.

Now I need to digress for a moment.

Eight months ago when this very same cat was a kitten, she was considering giving him away for other reasons. My family had considered taking him then but our vet was against it (Sam's health was delicate) and my friend decided to keep him anyway.

Back to the present.

With the statement, "I'm going to have to get rid of him." a veritable shotgun blast of reaction blows through my mind. Fate. Something went click and the next thing I knew, we were working out the details of transfer.

The next day, I drive to Kingwood, and return with an extra passenger. My kids are thrilled, etc, etc, etc. We go to Petsmart to buy Rocky a collar. As I'm walking down the aisles I happen to pass the animal adoption center with my older son Chris. We look at the cats. In the bottom, left corner cage, laying with his back to us is a large 2 year old male cat named Lancelot. His coloring was so similar to my dearly departed Sam's that I just had to get a look at his face. We enter the adoption area and are astounded to see that Lancelot has blue eyes. As a matter of fact, he looks so like Sam that they could have been litter mates!

Fate! I say again, FATE!

Ladies and Gentlemen, meet Calvin and Hobbes

Laundry, Microscopic Singularities, & Cosmic Sock Dust

Have you ever wondered where those missing socks go?

In my household we have quite the plethera of white socks. Long white tube socks, low white ankle socks, white socks with pink toe stitching (mine), white socks with green toe stitching, and white socks with no toe stitching at all. Socks, socks, socks. Every laundrey basket contains plenty of dirty white socks. I gather and wash them all. I know that when I put them into the Washer that they go in pairs. I assume that when I transfer them from the Washer to the Dryer that they are still in pairs (I don't actually check this but you'll see were I'm going in a second). Why is it that when the Dryer is finished, and I reach in to retrieve the warm white socky contents, that there are always some missing?

I have a theory, albeit whimsical, but warrenting further discussion. I am convinced that within my Dryer, and in every other Dryer on the planet, whether it be in a home or Washeteria, there abides a Microscopic Wormhole, a tiny miniscule Gravitational Singularity, or in layman's terms, an itty, bitty, Black Hole. For some reason, which is beyond my comprehension, only socks will cross beyond the Event Horizon of such Singularities. The type of sock seems to vary from Dryer to Dryer. In my house only white socks are consumed with the exception of the occasional hair scunchie. Dark colored men's dress socks are perfectly safe as are all other clothing items.

Ah Hah! but where do these socks go? Even Gravitational Singularities must dump there contents somewhere! Is it on another plane of existance? Can we contact Stephen Hawking and have him work it out mathmatically? No need. I believe I already know the answer.

Where do you think the ever present dust layer that hovers on the screen of the television or computer moniter comes from. The dust that seems to reappear nanoseconds after you wipe it away with a swifter cloth. Perhaps it is the Electro-Magnetic field that persists around all Cathode Ray Tudes that attracts the terminal point of Dryer Singularities and causes them to regurgitate their material contents back onto our physical plane. Again you have a question? Why do the contents reamerge in a form different than that which first entered the Singularity? Simple! Everyone knows that the superintense gravitational forces within the Event Horizon of a Singularity are such that matter(socks) is accelerated to the point that it becomes energy (light). When the contents reamerge at the Terminal Point(near the T.V.) deceleration causes it to reform into matter. However all physical bonds are broken during the transition so we are presented with....Dust!

Federal funding should be applied for! Surely my theory should be investigated! Our government has given away money for stranger things. Millions of dollars were granted for a study on how the methane in cow farts could be contributing to Global Warming. People want to know what happens to their socks. I'm sure if calculated, we would find that Americans spend millions of dollars a year replacing missing socks. What could we do with all the money saved? We could feed the hungry! House the Homeless! (I'd probably just buy a new car, but hey, I need one) Think of the possibilities!

Oh, but I forgot. We'd have to spend millions just to do the study. Let's see...
We'd need Dryers and of course if the government is buying, the price on that $600 Maytag at Lowe's just went up to $6,000.
We'd have to do our study in real households because those wily Black Holes aren't going to appear in a lab. This means we have to hire entire families to be a part of our study, and although they've been living on $42,000 a year until now, because the government is paying, they get $142,000 a year for their time in our study.
We're going to need advanced fiber analysis to match the dust back to the missing socks. Another couple $100,000 per test.
And lets not forget, after all the data are in and we have Stephen Hawking crunch the numbers for us, we'll have to hire a Marketing Firm to do a Focus Group so that we can present our results in a way that won't offend anyone. Let's say a cool $1 million for that.

And there you have it, my theory on where the missing socks go and how we should test it.

Thanks for listening!

P.S. I threw in the Astrophysics and Economic Theory just for fun.

The Sun is Shining

Okay, my last 3 posts have been of a melancholy nature, but the sun is shining today outside my window and sometimes the small simple things are the most pleasant.

Sooo...

I'm teaching Taekwondo to a group of kids at a local Elementary School. There are 12 of them and yesterday they all had Spring Fever. The weather is nice outside and the kids know that next week there's no school. I don't think there was a still body in the group! This makes it tough, especially when I'm trying to teach them Self-Control by having them stand at attention! They were infectious, I found myself just wanting to be silly and goofy along with them, but I did have a job to do.

If you had told me 6 months ago that I would teaching 12 of my own students, I would have asked you what you'd been smoking. Now, I can't imagine not doing it. Here's some of the reasons why.

Matthew. 3rd grade. Kind of on the heavy side and I think gets teased because of it. Used to always hang in the back of the class and say nothing. I can see how his confidence level has already increased. He wants to learn martial arts so bad and I can tell he practises. I hope he sticks with it, I'd like to see what he could become.

Caitlin. 1st grade. Quiet, unassuming, always the first to do anything I ask but never brags about it. Everything she says to me is in an absolute deadpan voice but what she says is soo.. cute. Did you know that she is Irish?

Dalton. 1st grade. He's the smallest kid in the class and the loudest! He sets the standard for answering up and he sets it high. I can always count on a "Yes Ma'am" from Dalton.

Alix. 4th grade. This girl has so much natural talent it's amazing. I've already had to raise the physical demands on her just to keep her interested and challenged! She's only trained for 3 sessions!

I could go on and on about each and every one of the 12 but there's one more reason.

Christopher. 13. My eldest. He's my helper and I couldn't do this without him. He has come so far along his journey. He has a way of relating to the younger kids that I can't match. I think about how it wasn't that long ago when he had very little self-confidence and now I think he would take over the class if I let him. He truly is developing a backbone of steel and he has a heart big enough to include the whole world. He's grown up a lot lately. It scares me. I can see now how his chubby little boy face is changing into a man's. His mustache is darker everyday! He will truly be a force to be reconded with as an adult. I used to fear for his future but I see now that he has the strength to handle whatever life may throw at him.

I am so proud!

The Wonder of it All

I had an interesting conversation with my husband tonight. We were discussing religion. He was raised Catholic, his mother is Italian... Duh! I was raised nothing. Tried out Baptist for a while in grade school, that's about it.

So you see, I have been having some troubles lately. Not only did I just lose my cat but there have been some issues with certain friends of mine. We were discussing these issues. The conversation somehow worked its way around to religion. Probably because most of my friends are Catholic also. I think they must always wonder why Steve has never been able to convince me to convert. The answer is because he understands me.

I'm not religious. Spiritual yes, religious no. I see the wonder in all things. I believe in Evolution and am in awe because of the way everything fits together. Life is layer upon layer of beautiful patterns and I accept them and appreciate them. I don't feel the need to have a literal, humanised explanation as to how this came to be. Things just are. I don't think that it is random how everything seems to fit together. I believe that something greater than myself must have made this come about and that's enough of an explanation for me.

If I want to talk to God, I do so directly wherever I am. I don't need a church to do it in or a Priest to tell me how. Do I think that churches are bad? No, some people, a lot of people, find comfort and happiness in going to church and that's great! It's just not for me. I think that most Priests, Preachers, Ministers, etc. are good people trying to share their beliefs. That's fabulous! But they are still people, human, they bleed when they step on a pin just like I do.

I believe that the measure of a person's life is taken by how they live it, not by what particular dogma they follow. As long as I help more than I hurt along the way, I believe I'm going to a better place when this life is over. There are billions of good people on this Earth and I don't think that the bulk of them are going to Hell just because they don't happen to practice the correct religion. If you're good, you're good. I've know some truly evil people who were perfect church-goers and followed their religion to a T.

I love my friends and I respect their beliefs. I just wish they could respect mine. I think they view me as a lost soul who needs to be led to righteousness. I may be lost, but aren't we all? I don't need to be led. For me truth is found from within. I try to listen for those little signals I spoke about in my last post and I do my best to heed them. I don't try to convince anyone else to my way of thinking, if you ask me a question, I'll give you an answer. That's enough for me. We all have to make our own choices. Free Will is the greatest gift of man.

How could you understand what light is if there was never any darkness?

Fate, Karma or Divine Providence

Everyone, meet Sam. Sam passed on to a better place this Thursday morning leaving me to ponder the meaning of life and why things happen. You had to know him to appreciate him. He was a dog in cat's clothing. People who didn't like cats liked Sam and he was known to convert dog people into cat people.

Sam was an example of Fate in action. You see, 5 years ago, on an impetous impulse, I went to the animal shelter. I was thinking about adopting a cat for my husband's birthday but wasn't completely convinced I really wanted to. I walked into the cat section, between the rows of metal cages with there sad, crying contents. Cats, kittens, all breeds, colors and sizes. One voice in particular seemed almost to call to me. As I approached the cage, I saw a rather large, male tabby cat pacing within. He turned in my direction and I was startled by his bright blue eyes, I had expected green or gold on a cat of his markings. He greeted me at the cage door with audible purring. I was astonished, strange cats don't act this way. I opened the cage and he practically leaped into my arms, he didn't struggle to be put down, but instead used my shoulder to prop his head upon.

There was a young lady in the lobby with her 4 year old daughter.
"Do you mind if I let her pet him?" I asked the mother.
I wanted to see how this cat would react to children as I have two children of my own.
"Sure," she replied.
I squatted down and placed the cat near the child's chubby little feet.
"Kitty!" she cried, grabbing two hand fulls of fur.
At this point, any ordinary cat would have bolted for the door, but not Sam. He accepted her rough attention and repaid it by rubbing against her legs while purring. He looked back to me with a look that seemed to say, "Did I pass the test?"
He came home with me that day and was with us for 5 wonderful years.

But why do I say that Sam was an example of Fate in action?

I went to the animal shelter on a whim. The hour in which I walked through the door was the very one in which he became available for adoption. A day earlier and he would not have been eligable. A week later and he would have been euthanised. I was meant to be there at that moment to find the perfect cat for me or rather to be the perfect human for him. So whether you call it Fate, Karma or Divine Providence, what it amounts to is something wonderful.

I believe that those little urges that come out of nowhere and those extraneous thoughts which just pop into our heads have a purpose. I believe they are evidence of something greater than ourselves trying to steer us in the right direction, nudging us down a path we should travel. Heed these signals when they happen. The world could use more wonderful things.