One Month

It's been 1 month since Sam died. I know it sounds crazy but he was more than a pet to me. He was more like my third child. My In-Laws felt the same way about him. So much so, that every time we went to visit, we were required to bring him.

I used to joke that he was a dog in cat's clothing. He would always, always come when called. No matter were he was in the house or what he was doing. He always came and sat at the table with us at every meal. He never begged for food, he would just sit there as if he just wanted to be included. Everyone who came to my door, would be greeted by him, and if they didn't acknowledge that he was there, he would stand on his hind legs and paw at them. He was a large cat, so even on adults he could usually reach your waist.

He was a great cat, a cat, yes, but a great one. He was perfect. He was always ready to jump into my lap and purr. Many a time, he was my comfort when I felt most alone. Supplying me with unconditional love.

I cried tonight for him. Chris and I cried. We miss him. The new cats are good, they're fun. They run and play and tussle. They have their own good points, but they will never be Sam.

I look back at the month of February and wonder if I had noticed his change in behavior sooner, could we have saved him? I was so wrapped up in my own personal problems that it took me days to realize he was hiding in the closet almost all the time. If I had been less selfish would he be here today purring on my lap? I'll never know. These are questions of what might have been, never to be answered in this life. I always just assumed he would be with us longer. When the end came, it was so sudden. I guess that's an object lesson. Don't take for granted that what you love will be there tomorrow. Things can change in the blink of an eye.